Nightmare

I had a dream last night.  I'm inclined to call it a nightmare, and the fact that I woke up crying certainly would confirm that, but it's content isn't what you'd expect of a nightmare.  There were no monsters in the classical sense (unless you count me), no vast expanses or horrific scenes.

Last week my mom, out of concern for my grandpap, told me about a dream he had had that must have been so real that he thought it was real when he woke up.  He dreamed that my little brother had gotten his new girlfriend pregnant.  (The good news is my mom straightened him out before he did or said anything too bad).

Last night, my sub-conscious followed that line of thought to it's "logical" (or as logical as a dream can be) conclusion, complete with making me sit through their ultrasound and  and a combination wedding reception/baby shower, with me running around throwing things, screaming about a bastard child and basically having a nervous breakdown.

This morning, I'm not sure what has me more upset; feeling like a monster that I could react like that to my brother's happiness, or realizing that it's not entirely impossible for my brother to have kids before we do (as if my cousins doing so wasn't hard enough).

The good news is that "new girlfriend" is already gone and my brother just left for 6 months of military training.    So he's not in a relationship at all, and he'll be surrounded by mostly guys for the next 6 months.  Also, he's really not at a settling down point and (as far as I know, not that he'd prolly tell me) he doesn't generally (or prolly ever) sleep with his girlfriends.  Still, at the rate we're going, it's not impossible...and its kinda terrifying.