4 pregnancies in 4 years, and they've all been in the spring. I walked outside yesterday, in the middle of a wonderful warm spell and thought to myself "it smells like morning sickness". Not spring, or rain, or plants beginning to grow... But morning sickness.
It's little things like that that make me wonder if I'll ever be sane again. Spring is supposed to be a time of life and the light finally returning, and all I can think about is morning sickness, which with my past isn't about life like it should be, but death instead.
And crazier still? I want it so badly it hurts. Spring is always our lucky time. Hope it doesn't let us down this year.
I will be praying for you always, but most especially whenever I see a pregnant person. I ask God to give you a child often, that you'll get to know in life. I don't think I hold any real sway, but know that I do believe he gives us what we want when we are ready. Keep trusting the Lord, and keep believing, and keep trying. No matter what happens in life, know that you WILL meet all four of your children in heaven eventually as the people they were meant to become. Keep taking care of yourself, your husband and your property, and all the people who love you. You are one of God's blessed children. And I don't think you're crazy...I think you are a mother of four who misses her children with all her heart.
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