On the Sidelines

It's no secret that, as we grow and change, our group of friends change with us.  We often choose people in our stage of life, with our values and ideals.  When I went to college and moved to Ohio and then to a new part of Pennsylvania I had to learn to make new friends.  A simple task, but a difficult one to grasp for someone who had lived in the same place and among the same people their entire life, made all the worse by the fact that most of those places were temporary stops.  

But now, I've lived in the same county for almost 4 years (same town for 3) and plan to continue living here for some time (home ownership will do that).  We started TTC when we got here, so it's been a long 4 years and I've no doubt been a shitty friend at times.  The people we gravitated toward the most were either young parents or married couples who were ready to settle down.  In that time, they have all had children and we're still sitting on the sidelines.  They go out together on "play dates" and have "moms nights out" and I'm never invited.  Of course, I don't have anyone to take on the play date and my being a mother too, is either something they prefer not to think about or they don't think it counts.  Either way, it makes me odd man out.  

We've tried hanging out with singles and couples who don't want kids yet, but lifestyle-wise, we have nothing in common with them.  We live the life of people with kids, without the kids.  I guess it's kind of a sad existence.  Me home all day(baking and cleaning and canning and tending the chickens), our free evenings, our 4 BR house with a big yard and an empty nursery.  

And so we exist in no-man's land, and let me tell you: It's a lonely place to be.